.contributed by Twinks.
EDITOR’S NOTE: This article is one in a series of “True Life: I’m in Law School” contributions written by a second year law student for her school newsletter. She intends it to be an insider’s view into the academic world of law.
True Life: I’m in Law School
As we grow older, a common quest we share is the quest for “love.” As indicated by the quotation marks, each individual’s interpretation of love is quite different. Regardless, it is within our human nature to desire companionship. Law students are no exception. In this addition of True Life, we’re going to investigate the whimsical views of finding love in law school, and the actual reality of love in law school. So sit back, snuggle up with your current “love” interest, and welcome to True Life: I’m in Law School.
We have all heard the stories: your girlfriend found her current boyfriend/fiancé in undergrad; your boy fell victim to the curse of the high school sweetheart to whom he will shortly propose marriage. Half of you, hearing these stories, are filled with a sense of hope that the same could happen to you. That hope is invigorated by the knowledge that your entrance into the real world is delayed three or four more years by law school; law school now becoming your new playing field. The other half of you simply roll your eyes, deeply sigh, and emphatically brush off the horrid idea of love and, even worse, being tied down. Welcome to the classic dichotomy of love and relationships in law school.
When you, the law student, are in the market for companionship, you will notice you have the choice between an old-fashioned, exclusive relationship and a serial dater who refuses to settle. The contrasting options are not an indication of someone’s level of promiscuity (though, that will often be a popular topic of gossip), but rather an indication of someone’s current level of commitment and emotional capacity. The question then becomes, is this person a monogamist or serial dater?
The Monogamist
Stable, dependable, and a great listener are just a few of the characteristics embodied within a monogamist. They prefer companionship, and relish in being able to depend on that certain someone to be their support system throughout law school. Monogamists do not fear expressing their emotions or highlighting their vulnerabilities. True monogamists support the theory of “true love,” and the belief that there is someone to complete/complement everyone. Newcomers to this category will often remain a bit closeted in verbalizing their newfound views towards love, but their actions will dictate a different story.
Monogamist love taking advantage of holidays, birthdays, and “just because” days as an additional opportunity to illustrate their feelings towards their significant other. Gifts include scavenger hunts, cooking dinner, bringing coffee to a library study session without being asked, a single flower with a note, and clothing. For as much thought goes into those “happy” days, a monogamist will often put that much into a significant other’s “bad” or sick day. Monogamists just can’t seem to help their pulsating feelings.
Therefore, if the person is a monogamist, they will want to weather the good and the bad; they will actually sit and conduct conversations with you that consist of something more than, “Do you want to take a shot?” [and then after the shot] “How do you feel?” You’ll start to notice them going out of their way to see you and/or talk to you. They won’t be afraid to tell you something substantial about themselves. They will remember what you say. And if you want to dabble in monogamy, by all means, reciprocate back.
The Serial Dater
Picky, selfish, and adventurous, the serial dater refuses to settle because they tend to love themselves more than the other person. While they enjoy companionship for a certain number of hours, they ultimate relish in their alone time, and knowing they don’t have to answer/explain/be on call to anyone 24/7. Everyday presents a different opportunity, and the serial dater sees life as being too short to decline. Besides, its all about being able to look back 50 years from now with great stories and zero regrets. Love is a nice concept, but something best reserved for a fantastic pair of shoes or a delectable 16 oz. New York Strip and glass of red wine.
The holidays are a time for drinking and being with friends and family. The serial dater enjoys making those closest to them happy, but truly enjoy not having to stress about making their significant other happy with multiple gifts. Singles Awareness Day (a.k.a. Valentine’s Day) is the hardest to overcome, but a skilled serial dater will be sure to either have a date planned for that night or not recognize the holiday at all. A date for the evening is not a sign of the serial dater crossing over, but merely taking advantage of an opportunity to watch the other side in their natural environment.
Therefore, if the person is a serial dater, they will not discuss past relationships because they most likely haven’t had one of a significant length. They will be a bit flighty if the conversation starts to become personal/emotionally substantial, and will be seen talking to multiple people, and not just a certain someone. Their tastes change quickly, so don’t expect to have that “connection” with them for very long; a month is probably the max. Its not that the serial dater doesn’t care, they just don’t want to be tied down.
So now having been equipped with the tools for detection, which shall it be: the monogamist or serial dater? Both have their pros and cons, but keep in mind, all law students are poor, so neither choice will be able to out lavish the other. It comes down to asking yourself how much of a commitment do you want. I hope you have enjoyed this addition of True Life: I’m in Law School. Please choose with your heart, have fun, remain open-minded, and limit gossip to The Hills.
I honestly enjoyed your post…