How many of us actually believe in “fate”? At times, it’s challenging to consider that life is placing what we need directly in front of us. But, even if we don’t subscribe to any notion of destiny, most of us still place our faith in love. However, what if love and fate were one and the same? How would we feel to know that the two are inextricably linked in our lives? These are the basic questions posed in the film “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”.
Joel Barish (played to dramatic excellence by Jim Carrey) discovers that his girlfriend of two years, Clementine Kruczynski (the radiantly eccentric Kate Winslet) has broken up with him and had him, subsequently, erased from her memory. Distraught, Joel opts for the same procedure that targets only the memories he has of her and of them together. Over the course of a single evening, technicians from the doctor’s office supplying this chance at “starting over” work backwards from Joel’s most recent relationship memories to the day of their first meeting some two years prior.
What we, and Joel, learn as the procedure turns back time (in a manner of speaking), is that he was happy, overall, with Clementine and his life with her in it. As this realization dawns on him, he makes several attempts to wake-up and stop the erasing, but to no avail. Instead, he tries to “hide” Clementine in memories where she doesn’t belong such as one of him being bathed in the sink as a child or a humiliating incident involving a bird and childhood bullies. When the technicians note that Joel is off the “map” of memories they made of his brain, they target and erase the newly created ones as well leaving him, upon waking with no knowledge of her existence.
Yet, in their last memory/first day together, Clementine whispers to Joel the fatal words: “Meet me in Montauk”- the site of their first introductions at a random beach party.
The next morning, Joel ditches the train to work and takes one, instead, to the snow-strewn beaches of Montauk all the while questioning why he made such an out-of-character impulse decision in the middle of February. Sitting at a coffee shop to warm up and journal, Joel remarks that it would be great to “meet someone new”. Who he “meets” on the train ride home from Montauk, however, is Clementine.
Once again, they begin a relationship, completely unaware of their shared past until it is brought to light when they both receive their patient files from a disgruntled office employee (Kirsten Dunst) and hear in their own voices recorded tapes of their unhappiness with each other. Ultimately, Joel announces that he doesn’t see anything not to like about Clementine and they decide to give it another chance. Or a first one.
This movie could have very easily been about forgiveness, but it isn’t. True, they decide to forgive each other the past transgressions they don’t recall, but, more importantly, is the fact that they forgive with little fanfare. They choose love.
What is so striking about this film, to me, is the implication that we all have a fate and that, even if we reject that fate, it is still waiting for us. Of course, the very definition of “fate” entails that it cannot be rejected and cast aside in hopes of finding out what is behind Door #2, but it also eliminates the necessity of the “what if” questions in life.
If these two were to know during their first try at a relationship that they were fated to be together, would the disagreements have meant less or disappeared all together? Would they have acted differently or accepted each other with less judgment? Would they have chosen, simply, to love?
Of course, I am no relationship neophyte. I have learned that love, alone, is not always enough. But, what if love really is enough and we, in an attempt to out-wit fate, make it more complicated than it needs to be? I have no doubt that if these two were to undergo the same memory-erasing procedure after their second stint at being together, they would meet again. And, so, if we were to believe in the fate that this movie suggests, our lives could be viewed in a different light. Instead of constantly confronting the same obstacles in our way and cursing their existence, perhaps we should stop and consider what is in front of us and honestly examine why it’s there before we choose to act against love.
