.authored by Something.of.Substance.
This is a love letter.
This is about those feelings that began when you planted yourself in between the smallest cracks in my armor. This is about those sentiments that sprouted limbs and expanded in my heart.
This is an accounting of how you’ve grown in my mind.
Although we don’t always see eye-to-eye, it is through your eyes that I find the world fascinating. It is also through your eyes that I have once again started to find myself. This letter marks the first real writing I have done in nearly three years. Because you found yourself wrapped in web of words I so delicately spin, you recognized and even encouraged my ability to create the prose in which more people could inhabit. That’s why it is to you I dedicate this effort.
You were one of my best friends. When I look at the world the way you live it, I find myself wanting to be a part of your experiences. I want a place beside you on your journeys. I want to hear in your own voice about the things that keep you. I like having your voice inside my head.
But, as much as I so treasure that, I have embarked, once again, on a path towards announcing my own voice. I have you to thank for pushing me towards this divergent path and for believing that I will come out alive on the other side. You see, I still have some growing up to do.
And you? You need to finish being young.
We all have those things that hate us: the things we carry around inside of us and run from or hide from or refuse to examine ever after dark. I won’t even begin to understand what it is you carry inside of you and only acknowledge on those dark, cold nights when you are completely left alone with your thoughts. But, I recognize your need to excise them. I see that your path is taking you away from my own and that I cannot switch and walk it with you.
Nor, should I. By the time I reach my destination, I will have accomplished those goals I have set for myself to make me the best version of me that I can be. You make me want to be a better woman. You make me remember why I want to change the world. And, now, I have the strength to meet those obstacles.
You are also striving: for health- mentally and physically, strength of character, freedom, the ability to trust and to love. These, I assume, are the goals that must be met along your path. I wish you enough courage to tackle them head on and not to shy away from the confrontation that will result.
I used to think you were strong. To pick yourself up and completely change your life without faltering is something very few could accomplish with as much grace as you have. Then, the change stopped being for the better and started being only about you. And, in that change, I was lost. But, I learned that though you may falter, I am still strong. And, that I am not done with change.
Where you now go and where I go can only make us stronger people. We can either take that strength and misuse it. Or, we can use it to improve our lives.
My Friend. I have loved you. I have embraced you. And now, I release you.
